


Assisted Self Discovery

by Lalaen



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Aro Ace Noctis, Asexual Character, First Time Blow Jobs, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Oral Sex, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sexual Experimentation, Sexuality Crisis, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-15 23:22:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11816337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lalaen/pseuds/Lalaen
Summary: Noctis is very annoyed that while his body is interested in sex, his brain doesn't seem to be. There's exactly one person he trusts enough to talk to about that.





	Assisted Self Discovery

"Hey." 

Ignis looked up from the notes he was checking over for Noctis - as neat as his handwriting usually was, sometimes when he had to write quickly it could get quite cramped indeed, and the prince needed no excuse not to read them - and directly into the eyes of said prince, who was resting his chin on the back of the couch. His arms were hanging over it in a way that looked highly uncomfortable, but Noctis looked like a cat in a sunbeam. 

"Personal question."

Ignis sighed heavily, as that had never come before something good. Let him remember that next time he wished his charge was more curious. "Very well," he said. 

"Do most people get hard from kissing?" It was the totally bored and unembarrassed way he said it that took Ignis aback. He shouldn't be surprised, and in a way he wasn't; the two of them had very personal discussions from time to time and nothing was really off limits. Noctis wasn't much of one for non-sequiturs, but he also wasn't one to converse any more than he had to. Clearly he felt no need to lead up to this. 

"I believe so," Ignis said mildly. 

"You never did," Noctis grunted. He still hadn't bothered to lift his head. Presumably he was referring to the month or so before he went to secondary school, when they still had adjoining bedrooms and had decided to practice kissing on each other. 

"No."

"You're gay, though."

"Yes, and kissing is repulsive," Ignis' reply was a bit sharp, mostly because he had no idea where this conversation was going and that put him on edge. 

Noctis wrinkled his nose a little. "Yeah, I don't get it." He looked lost in thought (or more likely, just bored), so Ignis went back to his notes. A few moments later, he added, "if I was gay it wouldn't make a difference, right? I'd still marry Luna."

Now _that_ startled him. He looked up immediately, not sure whether or not to be surprised that Noctis was still just as apathetic as before. "... do you believe that you're gay?"

Noctis gave him a moody teenager scoff, something he was abnormally good at even compared to other fifteen year olds. "I dunno, specs. Just thought I should feel like fucking by now."

Ah. 

"Perhaps it is your respect for miss Lunafreya that prevents you from thinking of her in that way," Ignis adjusted his glasses, suddenly having a more serious conversation than he'd anticipated. 

"Ha. Maybe when I was ten?" He buried his mouth against his hands a little, embarrassment evidently creeping up on him. "Look, I've tried porn. I'm not stupid, I know guys watch it."

"I would also say it's not to my tastes."

Noctis launched himself back to flop on the couch with an even more dramatic huff. "How am I supposed to know, then?"

"Well. Do you find yourself appreciating either sex?"

"Nope."

Ignis was not sure how to breach the topic of masturbation - it was true he considered nothing off limits between them, but that was a rather awkward conversation to have with anyone. Regardless, it was an obvious next step. "What do you think about when you're pleasuring yourself?" He was glad Noctis was not still looking at him. 

"I usually don't."

"Think of anyone?"

"Jerk off. It's boring."

"Hm." While it was possible that Noctis wasn't sexually mature yet, it was extremely unlikely considering his voice was nearly done breaking and Ignis remembered starting those feelings at twelve, perhaps even earlier. 

"What the fuck does that mean," Noctis grumbled. From the sounds of it he was face down in the couch. 

"There is a chance you are interested in nothing." Ignis stood and approached the couch, seeing that his charge was in fact, face down. 

"Tell me something I don't know."

He couldn't help but roll his eyes. "What I'm telling you is that nothing is an available option." Or, it was so far as Ignis knew. 

"Great," Noctis grunted, turning his face away from the cushions but neglecting to look up at Ignis. 

"It isn't the only answer. Perhaps your sex drive is abnormally low, or perhaps you would only desire someone whom you already care for. You are still young." 

"Sure, Specs," Noctis twisted around, but buried his face in his arms. He peered out with one dark eye from under his elbow. "It's just a piss off combination when you're fifteen and get random boners every five minutes."

"Yes, I believe the latter is a nearly universal problem." Ignis leaned his own elbows on the back of the couch. Thanks to him, Noct's apartment was clean; but that also meant he had no ability to get away from this conversation and process his thoughts by cleaning it. 

"When'd you know you were gay?"

Ignis knew he was looking for some kind of lifeline, and thinned his lips. Unfortunately, this was not going to be the answer the prince was looking for. "By the time I was twelve."

Noctis made a sound of disgust. "What the fuck is wrong with me?" 

Despite that the teenager was being dramatic, Ignis' voice softened. "There's nothing wrong with you, Noct."

There was another long silence. "Thanks," Noctis said quietly, arms still over his face.

"Try not to concern yourself. Your sexual interests, whatever they may be, would never change my opinion of you."

"Gross, stop being all... emotional on me," the prince grunted, finally uncovering his face so he could glower properly. 

"I wouldn't call that emotional," Ignis cut across him, and they stared each other down. 

"M'not really worried about people being okay with it," Noctis mumbled, finally starting to go a little pink high on his cheeks. "Really just sick of being horny for no reason all the time. If I'm not into girls, or guys, or... whatever else there is, can't it just," he glared at the ceiling, evidently unable to meet Ignis' eyes anymore, "fuck right off?"

"Knowing what you want doesn't make an active sex drive any less tiring," Ignis said dryly, likewise staring out the window across the room. "Trust me."

He knew he'd made a mistake when he heard an edge of amusement creep into Noctis' voice. "... how much do you jerk off?"

Ignis knew that he could just snap, but the prince was capable of reading him impossibly well and would probably just be entertained if that was how he chose to answer. He felt his face heating up a little and aggressively ignored it. "At least once a day," he cleared his throat. 

"Thirsty."

"I'm aware."

"What the fuck do you do instead of porn?"

"I have a brain," Ignis was aware he was getting sharp, now, but he was too focused on pretending he wasn't embarrassed to care. 

"I'm being serious," Noctis huffed. "I actually wanna know how to deal with this."

Biting back another acerbic comment, Ignis took a deep breath to put himself back in a logical place. "... it's very possible that you could find sexual contact affects you much differently than pornography, and you are... perhaps a little lazy to do everything in your mind." He smirked, never able to entirely stop teasing his charge. Noctis flipped him off. 

"Ugh, you're not solving my problems. You can't even get yourself laid."

"Excuse me. I'd think the Prince would have no difficulty finding a willing partner at his high school."

"That's effort." After a heavy sigh, Noctis dragged himself into a sitting position again. "And everyone sucks."

"Hm." While Ignis agreed on the subject of general distaste for humanity, he differed in that he had few opportunities to leave the palace, and none to speak of where he interacted with anyone even close to his own age. 

"Hey," Noctis leaned up on the back of the couch right next to him. "You're like the only person that doesn't suck."

Ignis side-eyed him. He certainly wasn't going to say anything before the Prince did. 

"Wanna practice with me again?"

...

"Theoretically, yes; I do know what I'm doing." Ignis sat on his hip between Noctis's legs. He had only the vaguest idea, but that'd always been enough to get him by when need be. There was a quiet comfort that existed between them; and it made the strange situation minimally awkward. 

"I'm doing you after," Noctis said casually, leaning back against the headboard. 

Ignis was very nearly taken aback. He'd assumed that, seeing as how the Prince - while not a selfish person per se - put forth a bare minimum of effort whenever possible, he would not be interested in reciprocating. Also, in a twist the advisor hadn't even thought to anticipate, the idea of anyone pleasuring him was actually a little unsettling. 

"Don't look at me like that. How else am I supposed to know if I'm into dick?" Noctis was half-teasing in that flat way of his, and much to Ignis' annoyance he couldn't think of a good way to respond. Instead, he hooked his fingers into the prince's waistband and pulled his pants down past his hips. 

He was no stranger to seeing Noctis naked. Aroused was new. Still, he knew how a cock worked, seeing as that he had one of his own, and took it in stride. 

"Why don't you shave," he asked blandly, an almost imperceptible wrinkle in his nose. He kept on top of his personal grooming, and had forgotten just how bad it looked if it wasn't looked after. Admittedly, Noctis' dark body hair probably did not help. 

"Why would I?" Noctis grunted, curling his lip a little in the kind of derision Ignis had come to expect from him long ago. "Obviously I have a lot of sex with people I wanna impress, right? Also it's itchy."

"It's not if you just trim it." Ignis muttered, pulling a glove off before raising his hand to his mouth to lick his palm.

"Effort," Noctis said, frowning. His sour face broke with an awkward gasp when Ignis' hand wrapped around his cock. It was almost comedically unattractive; the way his brow knit and his lips parted. However, Ignis was well aware he'd never felt the slightest sexual attraction to his prince beyond the vague ability to appreciate that he had a fit body. Perhaps with another man, he'd enjoy such a ridiculous expression. He pondered that as he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue, then leaned in to take the head of Noctis' dick into his mouth. He wasn't going to overachieve, realistically he couldn't take all of it and he could admit that. 

Noctis' breath caught in his throat. Ignis wasn't bothered by the taste, as he hadn't expected it to be particularly good - if anything it was better than he'd imagined - so he tried rubbing with the flat of his tongue. "Shit," Noctis hissed, his knee reflexively coming up. Ignis was not interested in being kneed in the face, and pushed it down immediately with his gloved hand and an annoyed look at the Prince. "Shit, be careful. Teeth," Noctis grunted. He moved his hand as though preparing to push Ignis off, but wound up stopping himself and leaving his hand awkwardly resting on the side of Ignis' head. 

Shooting him a hard look, the advisor tried to keep his teeth a little further away. It was not easy, and he ended up using his tongue a lot more than his lips. He did think to involve the second hand, the one he was using to hold Noctis' cock in place for himself; and as soon as he did he was glad he thought of it. He earned a soft guttural groan of approval, and obliged by speeding his hand up a little. As much as Noctis was a quiet person he had a whole language of apathetic grunts and sighs; one that Ignis understood very well. The cadence of the prince's breathing had changed dramatically. Ignis felt the hand hovering by his temple slowly settle on the back of his head, and he felt a momentary knot of anxiety seize his stomach before he was able to realize it really was just resting there. He glanced up at Noctis through his lashes, seeing his charge with lip slightly curled and teeth gritted. He'd worn a similar expression while sat stubbornly on his ass on the training field, nursing a nasty welt. It could easily be pain, even though Noct's dick was swelling and twitching against his tongue. 

Ignis decided to try taking him deeper. His jaw was starting to cramp a little, and he knew that he may have difficulty keeping it up after a while. He was also dangerously close to drooling; seeing as he was unable to swallow properly with a mouth full of cock, and that just wouldn't do. He sat up, swallowed, and took a moment to look at the Prince who seemed to be in the process of opening his mouth to protest. Before he could go through with it, Ignis leaned back in and took him halfway down in one smooth motion. His throat spasmed, but he was having none of that. He insisted on control over his body, and forced his gag reflex to settle. 

"Hah," Noctis tugged his hair a little, hand trembling. "Specs. Thought you hadn't done this before." 

Ignis put his thumb and forefinger together to show the 'okay' sign, unable to communicate any other way. Now that he'd pushed past his gag reflex, it felt like there wasn't much stopping him except for a little difficultly breathing. He bobbed his head, going as deep as he could and feeling his throat flutter. 

"Fuck," Noct's fingernails scratched Ignis' scalp, and after a few moments he had to pull back to take a proper breath. His throat was a little achey, but that made sense. It did help his decision to go back to focusing on the tip and perhaps moving his hand again. The response to that had been excellent. 

The prince's thighs were trembling almost immediately. Ignis found himself not only pleased, but actually excited in a way he hadn't expected. That he could cause such reactions in someone; that their pleasure was entirely his responsibility... it gave him a heady rush. If he'd had any doubt about liking cock, the fact that he was half hard would've convinced him. 

"H-hh. Hey," Noctis grunted, right before his body seized and jerked and Ignis really had to work to keep his hips still. He had the feeling that his prince was alerting him to impending orgasm, but wasn't concerned. If anything, he picked up the pace with his tongue. When Noctis cried out, he immediately pushed a little deeper and swallowed. He just barely tasted the bitter saltiness at the back of his mouth, and didn't draw back until Noctis had relaxed completely. Though he had no practical experience, it only made sense to swallow that way; in as short order as possible. 

Ignis sat up straight, looking at Noctis' flushed face. He gave a heavy sigh and flopped himself back on the pillow with such impressive apathy it was almost an emotion. "How are you feeling, Noct?" Ignis asked him so casually that he could've been talking about a headache. 

"Mnn. Not horny any more? I guess?" He still seemed annoyed, but much less on edge. 

"It seems you were quite... frustrated," Ignis teased, watching his charge flush again. 

"Ugh. Shut up, specs. No kidding I was." There was a long moment where Ignis thought he'd just doze off; before he dragged himself up into a sitting position. "C'mere."

"You don't," Ignis started calmly, but Noctis gave him a look that said he was having none of it. 

"I know I don't have to. I wanna try," he gave Ignis the smile that'd been his driving force for nearly ten years. "And I never do anything for you, right?"

"Very well," he told himself he wasn't going pink high on his cheeks, but he knew he was. 

"What're you nervous about?" Noctis grunted, putting his palm on Ignis' chest to encourage him to lay back - which he did, stayed leaning up on his elbows. "It's just me." As much as he sounded like he didn't care one way or the other, his glance up into Ignis' eyes was genuinely reassuring. 

"I'm not nervous," the young advisor said sharply, returning the gaze with narrowed eyes. 

"Sure," Noctis was nonchalantly undoing his belt and unzipping his pants, like he was getting himself changed instead of removing another man's clothes for sexual activities. Ignis let him pull them to halfway down his thighs, not self conscious in the least but oddly apprehensive. 

The Prince wasn't shy about wrapping his hand around the base of Ignis' cock - not too surprising, they were very comfortable with each other. He leaned in and gave an experimental lick, wrinkling his nose. Ignis chuckled, but ended up biting the inside of his lip when Noctis shrugged and went for it anyways. 

Though it was a new sensation, Ignis had no problem keeping his composure. It seemed as though Noct had learned from receiving, as he was carefully keeping his teeth away. "You needn't be quite this gentle," Ignis said in a conversational tone. 

"And you 'needn't be' so passive aggressive," Noctis lifted his head, a bratty scowl on his face. "Just tell me you like it rough, specs."

"All you have to do is use more pressure," Ignis raised a brow at him. From his own experience with his body, he found it substantially easier to climax with prostate stimulation, so hopefully he wouldn't disappoint his prince. It wasn't that he had insecurities, he just didn't want Noctis to end up feeling incapable. 

Muttering something about 'bossy', Noctis tried again. This time, he made firm circles with his tongue, and that made a substantial difference. Ignis relaxed, not making any sound aside from a few quiet gasps for breath. 

"Am I doing it right?" Noctis grunted, "or are you just dead silent?"

"You're doing fine," Ignis reached down and petted his hair absently. "Keep that up."

His jaw obviously tired before long, and instead of trying to deep throat he drew back and sped up his hand. "So... you made this look easy."

"Making a sexually frustrated teenage boy cum isn't difficult," Ignis teased. 

"Aren't you also that."

"I look after myself a little better. Focus on the tip, you won't hurt your jaw."

Noctis listened, leaning in again and experimenting with his tongue. Suddenly Ignis' stomach clenched as a powerful spike of arousal overtook him, and his body jolted a little. 

"Guess I finally found something you like." A quick learner when he wanted to be, Noctis kept it up. Ignis remained quiet, but somehow the Prince still seemed able to read his reactions. And why not? He'd always understood his advisor in a way others didn't. 

Sooner than he'd guessed, Ignis was on the edge. "Noct," he patted the boy's head, but just got the middle finger. He got the idea; anything he could do, Noct could try. Ignis gave a soft gasp when he came, and despite being warned Noctis jerked back as if startled. He made an utterly sour face while he decided whether he was going to try and swallow, and ended up spitting into his hand. 

"That's nasty," he muttered, looking personally offended. 

"Heaven's sake, Noct." Ignis said fondly, pulling his pants back up and leaning to grab a tissue. He wiped the spit and semen from the Prince's chin, then took his wrist in a no nonsense grip to wipe his hand. "I did warn you. You're far too picky to even bother with an attempt."

"You did it," Noctis grumbled, letting Ignis fuss over him. "Did you actually like doing that?"

Ignis nodded without hesitation to think about it. "I suppose I can assume you didn't?"

"I guess it wasn't awful," Noctis was wrinkling his nose again. "It was you, so I didn't care. I wouldn't... seek it out. Ugh."

"And would you seek out being on the receiving end?"

Noctis shrugged, sinking down and letting his head fall on Ignis' shoulder. "If someone offered... no, it'd be weird. Rather masturbate. You're ok. Less effort than jerking off... so you could do it again."

Smiling a very small and quiet smile, Ignis ran a hand through his charge's hair again. "Perhaps you aren't interested in much of anything, after all."

"Lame answer," Noctis muttered against his shirt. "Can my dick calm down, then?"

"Maybe in a few years."

**Author's Note:**

> not the ignoct you wanted but the ignoct you needed


End file.
